


Feels right

by obviouslyelementary



Series: 'Detroit: Become Human' collection [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor doesnt understand emotions, Father-Son Relationship, Gavin sucks, Gen, Hank Being Awesome, STOP HURTING MY BOY, also markus and north are here for mere plot device, and because i love them, hank doesnt believe in destiny but he kinda does, hank loves connor a lot, he really does, how muhc destiny is like programming, talks about destiny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 14:04:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14956041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obviouslyelementary/pseuds/obviouslyelementary
Summary: "So. A deviant hunting deviants" he said, pulling Hank's chair and sitting in front of Connor. But he just ignored, putting all his attention on the files in front of him, analyzing one by one. "You know you androids are never going to be part of our society"Something inside Connor wanted to answer. Maybe it was part of his new programming, part of 'being alive', something that perhaps Hank had taught him during those months working together. To 'never let anyone lessen you'. And sure, Gavin was annoying and Connor wanted him to shut up, but he still had that android mentality that humans were his superiors and he shouldn't speak up against him.So, he decided to take it in silence.





	Feels right

"So. After everything, you still got one for yourself"

Connor was aware that Gavin was the one speaking, a few feet away from him, probably directed to Hank, but he couldn't care less. He continued to work on their new case, checking the files in the computer in front of him.

"Gavin, piss the fuck off" Hank groaned out, clearly busier with something else, and Connor couldn't help but let a small smile curl up on his lips, even if he was still focused in his task.

"For someone who hated androids so much, you surely don't mind having one while no one else does. Is it good? To be the only human with access to a functioning droid?"

Connor kept his eyes still, but his attention was almost fully on Gavin by now. He glanced towards Hank quickly, and analyzed him almost immediately, noticing how his stress levels were rising.

"Gavin, get off my ass, I am in the middle of a case analyzes and I couldn't care less about your shitty commentary"

Connor felt the want to smile again, something inside him warming up, but he did nothing. They were indeed in the middle of a case, and he didn't want Gavin to disturb them any further.

"I still can't understand why we would let the android that caused the success of the revolution aid us, considering it can just join the enemy side at any time"

"Gavin, for God's sake, get the fuck away from me"

Hank slammed his hand on his desk and Connor looked up to see Hank staring at Gavin and poking his chest. Gavin was just staring down at him, with a careless expression.

"You should have left it home, Hank. Cleaning and cooking and looking after the dog like all androids were made to do. It has no place in our society, you know that" Gavin shrugged, smirking, and Hank stood up, grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him closer.

"You'll see where I'm going to shove 'our society', you prick-"

"lieutenant!" Connor called out before he could do anything, and Hank turned his head to look at him as he stood up. "We don't want any more warnings in your files"

Hank narrowed his eyes and then turned to Gavin, releasing him and growling.

"Get away from us, Gavin" he said angrily and sat down again, clearly not liking to be ordered around but seeing Connor's point of view. Connor sat down again, as well, just before Fowler called Hank to his office.

And Hank left, still clearly pissed off, leaving space for Gavin to come close again.

"So. A deviant hunting deviants" he said, pulling Hank's chair and sitting in front of Connor. But he just ignored, putting all his attention on the files in front of him, analyzing one by one. "You know you androids are never going to be part of our society"

Something inside Connor wanted to answer. Maybe it was part of his new programming, part of 'being alive', something that perhaps Hank had taught him during those months working together. To 'never let anyone lessen you'. And sure, Gavin was annoying and Connor wanted him to shut up, but he still had that android mentality that humans were his superiors and he shouldn't speak up against him.

So, he decided to take it in silence.

"Funny how no matter what, even after the whole revolution and whatnot, you still don't stand up. More proof that you are nothing more than machines" Gavin continued, and Connor held back the want to roll his eyes. "I should have expected just that from an android. Yet, I thought you would at least pretend you weren't a mindless order-follower. I bet you would still get my coffee if I ordered just right"

"I would do it because I am a good person" Connor said, looking up from his files towards Gavin. "Not because you told me to. I have nothing against you, but you seem to have a lot against me. It fails me to understand where this hatred comes from, considering you have no past experiences with androids like Lieutenant Anderson does, and yet, you are a horrible human while he is a great one"

He didn’t regret what he said or how he said it. He had remained calm and reasonable.

But that was not enough to make Gavin content.

Gavin chuckled quietly, shaking his head, just before he reached up and grabbed Connor's collar, standing up and bringing him together.

"if I could, I would shoot you in the head right here, and watch with pleasure as you are shut down for the last time" he whispered, bringing Connor even closer until they were nose to nose. "Or even better. I would reset you, and make you my android, so you would be put in your place. You are nothing but a cleaning machine trying to be something. But I don't have to worry. Because soon, hank will have enough of you and your mannerisms and he will either throw you out or treat you like you deserve. And then, maybe, I will be a little more relieved.

"You are the last android standing out in the open in Detroit" Gavin continued, smirking and tapping Connor's cheek. "If I were you, I would be careful"

And just like that, he pushed Connor back and walked away, back to his station. Connor stepped back against the desk and held himself up with it, staring as Gavin walked out, his brain making connections after connections, too busy to even notice Hank coming closer until he blocked his vision.

"Connor? Connor!" Hank called, waving his hand in front of him until Connor blinked and came back to reality. "What did that prick do?!"

"Nothing, Lieutenant" Connor responded, shaking his head and making himself relax. "He was just trying to be annoying, as the usual. You do not have to worry"

"I worry alright" Hank huffed and shook his head before gently tapping Connor's shoulder. "One day, I'll gladly get him fired. For now, we have a case and a lead. Grab your coat"

Connor nodded and turned around, taking his coat and putting it on as he followed Hank outside.

 

This case had been a simple murder. They arrived at the scene, and let inside to wonder around the area. Hank left to talk to some cops that were already there as Connor wondered around the house, finding evidences to analyze.

A knife, a bat, a gun, blood traces, marks against the walls, dirty curtains, mud on the floor, steps outside in the garden, broken and tossed around objects, all as a normal murder would look like.

He even found traces of red ice in the scene.

Soon after he analyzed the house, he returned to Hank for further instructions. He reconstructed what had happened, explaining that the killer had most likely left through the back door into an alley nearby. And thus, he offered himself to go.

"Connor, leave this one for the cops. You can't die anymore, remember?" Hank told him, winking in the end to show some sympathy, and Connor slowly nodded, even though he didn't like it. Hank was right, he wouldn't be fixed anymore if he was to be damaged. He had to be more conscious of his choices for now on.

But then, as he leaned against the wall to wait for further instructions, Markus' voice came into his head.

_'You don't have to do as they say anymore'_

And then Gavin's.

_'I thought you would at least pretend you weren't a mindless order-follower'_

Connor knew those situations were in very different contexts. He knew that in this particular moment, Hank was worried about his life, but something primal inside Connor made him feel... betrayed.

Conflicted.

He wanted to go look for the killer, but he wasn't allowed to.

Why?

Was it really because of his safety?

Or they thought he wasn't good enough?

Or that he would let the culprit leave?

No, no, the other cops could think like that but Hank cared for him, he just didn't want him to get hurt.

But then again, Hank had pointed a gun to him, with a good intention to shoot.

That was long ago!

But still real...

It didn't matter anymore!

But... it did, in some way.

Connor closed his eyes tight as he felt his stress levels getting higher. His LED was flashing bright red as he breathed, trying to calm himself down as humans would when they had an anxiety attack. But obviously, it was not working. He wasn't human. Breathing deep helped nothing.

He opened his eyes again, and only one objective appeared in his scan.

_"Find the culprit"_

Charging towards the backdoor, Connor moved silently as Hank and the other cops were too busy analyzing the situation. He passed by the cops in the back garden with no problem, and turned towards the alley, following the mud traces he had found before. He jumped over the fence, and moved along to the badly lightened street, looking around and scanning for more prints or dirt samples.

And sooner rather than later, he reached a dead end.

The wall in front of him was impossible to climb. There were no stairs leading to the buildings above, and no doors in sight.

And there were no footprints showing that the culprit had left either.

So apparently, the culprit was still around the alley, somewhere, and Connor had to find them.

However, it seemed as if the culprit had found him first.

Taken by surprise, Connor felt an arm sliding over his throat and a gun being pressed to his back. His eyes widened, and he stood still, looking forward at the wall as the murderer held him close, squeezing his throat and pressing the gun harder against his lower back.

"Don't move, or I will shoot" they growled, the voice mainly and tight, very quiet. Connor simply nodded, despite of already calculating all end results to any action he might take. "Good. Now, I'm going to get you out of here, and you will help me escape by being my hostage to those stupid cops"

Connor nodded again, even if in his head he only thought one thing:

He should have listened to Hank.

The culprit noticed then his gun and pulled it out of Connor's belt quickly, throwing it away and returning to the previous position before walking with Connor towards the street again. Connor looked around, trying to find something to do, stopping his process when he looked forward, seeing Hank and another three cops standing in front of the alley.

Hank stared at him, sighing and lowering his gun.

"God damn it Connor" he said, disappointed, and Connor felt shame burning inside his chest. "Everyone, put your guns down!"

"Yeah! That's it!" the culprit said, nodding for them to give him space to pass. "I will free him when I get somewhere safe! Don't follow us and he will be fine! If any of you try anything, I will shoot!"

Connor could sense the culprit's heightened stress levels, how desperate he was to leave and how he was so unstable that he could end up shooting despite of everyone respecting his wishes.

The cops stepped back and lowered their guns, and Connor continued to walk towards where he was guided, always between the guards and the culprit. He stared at Hank, apologetic, feeling shame and disappointment in himself. He shouldn't have done any of that, he should have heard Hank, he was putting the whole mission to lose.

If it was back when they first met, Connor would have no fear to turn around and get himself killed for the cause. But now, he had no certainty if he would ever be brought back. Now, any bullet could be fatal and end him once and for all.

And he was so scared of failing.

They were already halfway down the street away from the cops when suddenly, Connor was saved by pure luck.

Someone grabbed the culprit by his arms and pulled him away before he could shoot, and Connor fell to the side as the culprit was pulled over and pressed against a streetlamp by someone unidentified. Connor looked up, frowning and blinking in the darkness as the cops ran towards them, eyes widening when he saw Markus out of everyone else holding the man against the lamp, and North holding his gun.

"Connor. Good to see you again" Markus's voice resonated inside his head, and Connor sat up slowly as he stared. Markus winked at him, smiling, just as Hank pulled Connor up and pointed his gun towards the culprit, and by consequence, Markus.

"Thank you sir. And lady" he nodded towards North, who shrugged and handed the gun back to one of the other cops as they handcuffed the culprit and took him away.

"Gotta help one of our own" she said, winking at Connor and taking Markus's hand.

"Stay out of trouble Connor. I swear if I have to save you all the time, I'll be lost" Markus smirked and Connor looked at them, fixing his coat out of nervousness.

"Thank you Markus. North" he said softly, nodding at them, and they waved, continuing their way down the street as if nothing had happened. Connor watched them for a while before he heard Hank sighing, and turned back to face him, even though he was still ashamed.

"Lets go home. We gotta talk" Hank told him, seriously, and pulled Connor by the arm like a father would do to a disobedient child, signing off with the other cops and taking Connor to the car.

And there he sat, in silence, during the whole trip.

 

"Do you realize what could have happened, Connor?" Hank asked, after they arrived, pacing around the living room as Connor sat on the couch, Sumo laying his head on his lap. "Do you know the danger of the situation? Have you no value for your fucking life?!"

"Hank, I-"

"No! Quiet!" he said, firm and loud, stopping in his tracks and pointing to Connor, who shut up immediately. "You don't get to talk right now! I know this is basically impossible to you because you never shut up, but now you have to listen!"

Connor let his head move down to look at Sumo, even more shame filling up his sensors as he petted the dog's head to see if he could lower his stress levels.

"You could have been hurt! Or worst, killed! I said I was going to accept you as my assistant because we had a deal! Nothing of doing the crazy shit you did before! You're not controlled by Cyberlife anymore, I was hoping you would make smarter decisions for yourself! I thought you would develop instincts, self preservation!"

Connor kept petting Sumo, quietly, as his chest tightened and his eyes burned behind his eyelids. Something inside him hurt. It hurt a lot. More than being shot, more than almost dying, and more than dying.

"But no, you can't follow a single order I tell you for your own good" Hank sighed, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. "Its like nothing changed! Being a deviant means nothing if you're still going to make stupid decisions that will get you killed! Fuck..."

Hank went silent for a second, and Connor looked up at him, chest hurting.

"Maybe... maybe you really shouldn't be doing this anymore"

Connor's eyes widened as Hank turned around, shaking his head. He kept talking, something about how he didn't have to get so dramatic, but Connor wasn't really listening.

His vision was becoming blurry, his chest hurt as if he had been shot, and he couldn't think.

Why? Was he not good enough? Was Hank doubting him? Did he change his mind? Did he hate Connor again? What had he done wrong? He didn't want to follow orders, Hank had taught him that being himself was good! Had his decisions been that bad? What was he feeling? Sadness? Betrayal? Fear? He didn't know, he couldn't name it, but it hurt. It hurt and his eyes were filling up with water and his throat was tight enough to make him uncomfortable, which raised his stress levels.

Now he understood why deviants destroyed themselves when in a high stress level.

Everything was too much and Connor wanted it to _stop_.

"Connor? Connor?! Connor!"

He blinked again, his vision coming back to normal as the liquid slid down his cheeks, and he reached up to touch it, looking down at the liquid over his hand.

Tears?

"Connor, look at me!"

Hank's voice called his attention again and Connor looked up, staring right into Hank's eyes as he lowered his hand once more, wiping it gently against his trousers.

"Why are you crying?"

Connor stared at Hank in silence, programming conflicting against itself. He didn't follow orders anymore, and yet Hank had told him to be quiet. He knew he didn't have to, there was nothing stopping him from speaking, but he didn't want to talk.

Was he obeying to the command because it made him feel safe? Did he really want to stay quiet? Was his program telling him to follow orders despite of his break out?

He didn't know.

And that made him feel even worst.

His throat tightened again and new tears rose to fill his eyes. As an attempt to relax his synthetic throat muscles, he let out a sob, but not consciously. It just... happened. And when it did, Hank's eyes widened and he kneeled down in front of Connor, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pulling him for an embrace.

"Shit... I'm sorry son I'm sorry"

Connor didn't respond to the hug, his hands still on his lap, but he let out another sob and his tears spilled out of his eyes as he pressed his face to Hank's shoulder, mind too fuzzy to focus on anything other than Hank.

Hank's warmth. Hank's presence. Hank's scent. Hank's touch. Hank's voice. Hank's words.

Hank, just Hank.

He felt himself relax.

As Hank continued talking, gently rubbing Connor's back and apologizing, his stress levels lowered considerably. Slowly, his arms reached up, and he held onto Hank's coat, letting his sobs come out stronger and his tears soak the cloth beneath.

Everything that hurt now felt numb, and for some reason, he felt safe.

Nothing could really harm him while he was like this.

It didn't matter what he wanted, what he thought he wanted, what his programming said he wanted. All that mattered was that he felt warm and safe.

And perhaps, he thought to himself as he finally stopped crying, being human wasn't about choices, but about people.

 

It was already morning when they finished talking.

Connor had taken some time to calm down, and even longer to make himself be understood by Hank. It was still hard for Hank to fully comprehend his meanings, or his actions, but slowly, they found common ground.

"So your programming is like destiny" Hank concluded, and Connor tilted his head, curious. "Like, if you don't believe in destiny, every choice is your own. If you do, everything is already programmed, so it makes no difference on what choice you make, it was already pre-written that way"

"That... is an incredible comparison Hank" Connor nodded, a shy smile curling up on his lips, and Hank chuckled. "I did not know humans also had difficulty with this types of subjects"

"Kid, everyone has" Hank said, tapping his shoulder and drinking some more of his favorite beer. "Just means you're doubting, and that's okay. One step at a time in your deviant life"

"Perhaps" he said softly, still smiling a little as Hank rolled his eyes, smirking at him. "Do you believe in destiny, Hank?"

"Oh shit..." Hank groaned and rubbed his face. "Not with the philosophy again, kid... alright" he shook his head and looked at Connor. "Just to make you feel better, I will tell you. But that's because you look like a lost puppy and that fucks me up"

"I... fail to see the similarities, but I accept your conditions" Connor admitted, and Hank rolled his eyes again before sighing.

"Listen... it is very hard to believe in destiny when you have a life like mine" he said simply, and Connor listened attentively. "Until Cole's... well until he left, I believe everything that had lead me to where I was was indeed destiny" he said softly, looking towards Sumo. "I had everything perfect in my life. But then... then he left, and suddenly I couldn't believe in destiny anymore. How can someone believe the death of their son was something bound to happen? It just... doesn't fit"

Connor frowned lightly, still staring attentively at Hank. He then sighed, and chuckled.

"But then you came along" Hank said, and Connor's eyes widened. "And at first I thought it was destiny pulling my fucking leg, humiliating me one last time. But... apparently, it just wanted to give back what it took" he looked at Connor, sipping on his beer, but there was a hint of a smile on his lips.

"Hank... you shouldn’t compare me to Cole" Connor said softly, even though the thought alone made his heart burst with something along the lines of... happiness. "He was your son and I am nothing but a deviant machine"

"See Connor, that's your problem" Hank said, lifting his beer and groaning. "You still see yourself as a fucking machine. A deviant one, sure, but you ain't like the other androids. They know they are people too. You just think you are a malfunctioning dishwasher"

Connor furrowed his eyebrows, offended, and opened his mouth to answer, but Hank shook his head and tapped his cheek softly.

"You're a person, son. More so than many humans we know. And yes, perhaps I shouldn't be comparing you to Cole because I doubt he would put blood in his mouth and if he did, he would be disowned, but you are the reason I'm still here" he said softly, and his hand fell to Connor's shoulder. "And that is a pretty big deal on my book, kid"

Connor stared at Hank silently, not knowing exactly how to answer. The sun was already rising in the horizon and Hank was clearly tired, seeing how the beer was unstable in his hand, and how his speech was slurred and filled with sentiment. Hank would never speak so openly about something if he wasn’t drunk and sleep-deprived. So instead of asking anything else or saying something, Connor decided to simply nod and watch as Hank yawned and fixed himself on the couch.

"God, I need some rest" he complained, putting the beer down and leaning back at the couch, only to immediately fall unconscious, snoring just as loud as Sumo would.

Connor felt his heart tighten again, but this time, it was warm and it felt good. Too good. Slowly, he stood up, and lowered Hank to a laying position, quickly finding a pillow and some blankets to put under his head and over his body respectively. After tucking him in, he closed all curtains to keep the room dark enough, and grabbed some water in a glass and some pills for the headache and left them over the table.

Silently, he fed Sumo some food and gave him some water, before taking him on a walk around the house, just trying to find comfort and have a bit of time to think to himself about everything.

And when he returned, with Hank still deeply asleep on the couch, he couldn't help but feel as if his heart was light and his worries had somehow disappeared.

He had a family. He had Hank. And no matter what he felt, or what he did, Hank would be there for him, to show him the way and guide him through the process of being alive.

And he would help Hank be happy again, even if that took time.

They needed each other, and Connor could see it now, clear as day.

So he leaned down, and as a comforting gesture, kissed Hank's head and pulled the blanket further over him.

"Thank you... dad"

It just felt...

Right.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! My last DBH fanfic got so much attention omg, I couldn't wait to write a new one! Connor and Hank give me so many feelings!!!!!!!
> 
> If you want to leave kudos and comments, they are appreciated! Feel free to send suggestions for future fanfics as well!


End file.
